I am often asked “why are you not married yet?” or “when are you two going to get married?”

Well….here is the answer…..

I have a dream wedding in mind, but I have never been in the position to afford it, nor have I found the time to plan it. If I am going to go to the effort of getting married, I at least want it to be a nice wedding. A wedding at a registry office would mean a change of last name, and legal recognition of our union, but it certainly would not result in a memorable once in a lifetime event.

People say to me, “start with a budget”. How do people even come up with a budget? Like how to people come up with a figure to spend on a one day event? Do they just pick a number out of thin air, without knowing how much things actually cost? Often people lament that their wedding cost them much more than they had budgeted for anyway, or they say “my wedding was only $5000”. ONLY $5000? Really? You spent $5000 on something that lasted 1 day?! Do you know what $5000 could get you? I mean, don’t get me wrong, $5000 these days does not seem to go a long way really, but for example, it could ….

• get you a couple of plane tickets to England, or a really nice holiday in Australia or somewhere else to visit a loved one
• help you upgrade your car to one that actually fits you all in it at one time
• get you one year of study at a university
• buy a pretty decent new bedroom suite
• be $100 per week towards your weekly living costs for the year,or towards paying off your mortgage, or be put towards a house deposit
• get you that operation or dental care that you’ve been putting off because of the cost, the braces for your adolescent child, or those hearing aids or glasses that you needed but couldn’t afford
• help a family member to relocate so that they could be nearer to you
• pay for 2 heat-pumps in a freezing cold old house, or a DVS system
• pay for funeral costs for a loved one should the unthinkable happen
• allow you to upgrade some of your old worn out appliances and whiteware
• help towards a home reno project
• pay for 2x outdoor spas
• get you a boob job in Thailand
• probably even get you started in setting up your own business!

So with all of the other bills looming, how does someone justify spending that much on a wedding? The only way I could justify it would be to get a pay increase, or another part-time job (did I mention having no time?)  Life throws curve balls which seem to halt well intended plans, such as unplanned pregnancies, studying, changing career paths, medical bills and the list goes on and on. Without time or money, it is pretty hard to plan a wedding!

The other advice I get is to “set a date”. Well, sorry to sound like a Negative Nancy and all that, but that just feels like a set up for stress and anxiety!  The date is getting closer, life is getting busy, bills are getting in the way, but you have already spent time and money on sending out invites! Sorry guys, but wedding is off for another year! Maybe creating a Facebook event is the way to go rather than paper invites, at least there they can be changed with relative ease

Hmmmmm…..where else to start…..I searched for an app and found one called LadyMarry Wedding Planner. I’m going to try it and see what happens, so at least I’m prepared and organised ‘when’ or ‘if’ the time comes!

I open the app……….

Step One: Pick your wedding date

Step Two: Figure out a budget

(facepalm!) I’m not sure that this app is going to work for me!!!!!!  So I came up with my own step three, four and five…..

Step Three:  Try to Win a Wedding? (see previous blog on how that turned out! )

Step Four:  Find a get rich quick scheme/scam

Step Five: Wait for my fairy godmother to wave her magic wand!

Ok, so at this point in my wedding planning, I’m up to Step Four, and the only idea that I have in mind for this is to enter The Block (doh, another competition!) Oh well, worth a shot huh? After that, I’m fresh out of ideas haha!

Seriously though, I need advice on where to start, so if you have any pearls of wisdom let me know!

Thanks in advance!

NZDiva xx

Ps, In reference to the photos: Jo and I were very lucky in 2013 to take part in a fun wedding photoshoot for Raewyn Murray Photography, so at least we got to pretend to be a flower girl and a bride for a couple of hours!

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